


Lost & Found

by caitling98



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Character Study, Fix-It of Sorts, M/M, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Somewhat canon-compliant, World War II, somewhat canon-divergent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:34:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23992387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caitling98/pseuds/caitling98
Summary: Steve has spent his entire life losing and finding Bucky.Snippets of their lives in the 1940s and the 2010s.A somewhat canon-compliant, somewhat canon-divergent story of love, loss and fate.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	Lost & Found

**Author's Note:**

> I'm a sucker for these two and their complicated relationship - always out of time, always losing each other but they find their way back, no matter the place and no matter the century. 
> 
> Canon-compliant through TWS. I'm not the biggest fan of how their story ended, so this is my attempt to fix that. Ignore CACW, IW and Endgame while reading ~
> 
> Hope you enjoy <33

Prologue 

_“Best friends since childhood, Bucky Barnes and Steven Rogers were inseparable on both schoolyard and battlefield.”_

Steve has spent his entire life losing and finding Bucky.

From the war to the future, Bucky always disappears and eventually comes back.

He doesn’t know if it’s luck, fate, or just plain old perseverance, but he is always grateful every time Bucky comes back to him. 

‘Til the end of the line, Bucky always comes back. 

1942 

“I don’t know, Steve, I think the uniform’s a little tight,” Bucky says, standing in front of the mirror while uncomfortably pulling on the tie of his new military uniform. 

“I think it looks just fine on you, pal,” Steve replies, lounging on the bed of their shared apartment. “I still can’t believe you’re going out to war without me.”

Steve sighs while forlornly glancing Bucky’s way. Steve is too small, too sick, too riddled with ailments to be considered for even a chance to fight in the war, no matter his unwavering spirit and passion. He and Bucky have been living together in a shoebox apartment in Brooklyn since Steve’s mom passed, and he can’t help but feel jealous and frustrated that Bucky is leaving and going off to fight without him.

“Steve, we’ve been through this, why you always gotta be so stubborn?” Bucky sighs, turning to look at Steve. “You can barely take care of yourself, let alone fight in a war. I don’t want you causing too many back-alley fights while I’m gone. I can’t clean up your messes forever, punk.”

Steve groans, burying his face in the pillow. After his mom died, Bucky took on the responsibility of looking after Steve, taking care of him through his many sicknesses and beating up the bullies who get in his way. But, sometimes, Steve just wants to feel like a real human being, not just a kid who needs looking after all the time.

“People are out there risking their lives, Buck, shouldn’t I be doing the same?” Steve mumbled into the pillow. 

Bucky laughed, turning to face Steve. “No, Stevie, you need to stay right here. I can’t have my best guy out there fighting, not with all your problems. Just sit tight and I’ll be back before you know it, okay?”

Bucky walks over and sits down next to Steve on the bed, taking off his cap and placing it on Steve’s pillow-mused head instead. “Don’t do anything stupid ‘til I get back, promise?”

Steve rolls his eyes, before looking up at Bucky with a soft smile. “Promise, jerk.”

1943 

Bucky left, and Steve did not keep that promise.

Steve is recruited by a man named Dr. Erskine, impressed by his self-sacrificial attitude and extreme bravery, for a “super-soldier” experiment.

Steve, who used to be a frail, tiny and sickly, is now a large, broad, supersoldier of a man. Injected with a serum, all of his ailments are gone and he has abilities like no other. He is getting used to a whole new life without Bucky by his side.

With his dreams of fighting in the war still at the forefront of his mind, Steve wants to use his new body and strength for that reason only. However, after Dr. Erskine’s untimely death at the hands of Hydra, people have other plans for the new Steve Rogers.

He is deemed “Captain America” and is dressed up in a gaudy, tacky costume, paraded on tour across the world and used as promotion for war bonds and propaganda for the good ol’ U S of A. Steve grows tired of it quickly and longs for the ability to actually fight. He feels like a cheap show boy, not a super-soldier.

He eventually finds himself in Italy for another tour, when he gets devastating news: Bucky’s unit was reported MIA. Refusing to believe his best guy was dead, Steve went against orders and infiltrated Hydra’s fortresses, searching desperately for Bucky.

He finds Bucky strapped down to a table, groggy yet alive.

“Bucky! Oh my god…” Steve gasps at the sight of him, rushing to get the straps undone. Bucky is confused and tired, unsure of who this man is. “It’s me, it’s Steve.”

“....Steve?” Bucky finally gets a good look at his long-lost best friend and can’t believe his eyes. Gone is the small, sickly boy who needed protection; instead, Steve is a large, healthy man who is protecting him.

Steve is so relieved to see Bucky alive and cradles his face in his hands.“I thought you were dead.”

“I thought you were smaller.”

Bucky is awe-struck at Steve’s current state and barely has enough time to process it before they need to hurry to escape the Hydra fortress. They find themselves back into their old rhythm, perfected over decades by each other’s sides. 

Steve is so happy to have Bucky back. It takes them some time to get used to these new versions of one another, with Bucky struggling to come to terms with what happened to him and Steve getting used to his new body. 

None of that matters, though, because they are together again and have each other’s backs, ‘til the end of the line. 

\---

“You punk, I can’t believe you went ahead and turned yourself into a super-soldier while I was gone.”

Steve laughed at Bucky’s admission. “C’mon, Buck, did you really think I was just gonna sit around like a good housewife, waiting for you to return home from war?”

Bucky smiles. “You always have been stubborn.” His smile falters slightly and Steve picks up on it. 

“What’s wrong? You seem off.”

“It’s just…” Bucky starts before stopping himself. “Do you even need me anymore? I’ve been taking care of you for so long, looking after ya, and now you’re bigger than me. Not even sick. How’s that supposed to make me feel?”

“Bucky….” Steve sighs before wrapping his best friend in his arms. “I’m always gonna need you, capiche? Just because I’m bigger and stronger doesn’t mean I’m not the same guy I always was. I still need you to clean up my fights.”

Bucky laughs, burying himself deeper in Steve’s embrace. It’s strange, how much broader this Steve is than the one he always knew. But, he’s still the same guy, Bucky’s guy.

They don’t speak about it again.

They didn’t realize how little time they had left. 

1945 

“No!”

Bucky slips through Steve’s fingertips faster than he can possibly grasp him. Bucky falls, down into the icy abyss, and Steve forever hears his screams in his nightmares. His breathing goes ragged and unmeasured. Steve holds onto the side of the train for dear life and can already feel the cold tears starting to fall down his face.

“I should've gone after him, I should've saved him, I should've gone after him, I should've saved him.”

These words rattle around in Steve’s brain continuously. He tries to drink himself stupid but nothing helps. Nothing stops the ache in his chest, the dreadful longing he feels. Nothing will remove the memory of Bucky’s face as he fell.

Steve and Bucky shared so much. Unspoken promises, late-night whispers, gentle secrets murmured in darkness. They understood each other and were side-by-side in everything. Without Bucky, Steve feels as though he is nothing.

Time passes, but the pain in Steve’s soul never leaves. Life goes on, but his stops. He can no longer breathe, no longer think, not with Bucky’s screams still echoing in his head. Nothing will make the guilt subside when Steve could have saved him. Nothing will erase the memory of Bucky’s hand, reached out, a second separating his life and death.

“I should've gone after him, I should've saved him, I should've gone after him, I should've saved him.”

Steve plunges himself and his plane into an icy river. It is seen all over the world as an act of heroism, of necessity. He was an icon and an inspiration. 

None of it matters without Bucky.

All Steve wants is to see his face again.

2014 

Steve woke up from the ice and has been living in the future for two years now.

Approached to join a team of superheroes called the “Avengers,” he fights with this new group of people in this new world.

He feels lost and confused, struggling to grapple with his new reality, without the world he’s used to and Bucky by his side.

Bucky is dead, died right in front of him. Steve lost him in his past life and isn’t going to get him back in this new life.

He didn’t want this.

He didn’t want to wake up from the ice.

But, he did, and now he’s here, in a new world, a new place, so different than all he knew.

Rumors start circulating about an assassin, a ghost, called “The Winter Soldier.” A tool of Hydra, he becomes more prominent in their lives after Fury is shot and killed at his hands. SHIELD is revealed to be compromised, and, after an epic battle, Steve becomes face to face with the infamous assassin. 

The mask falls off the soldier’s face, and the wind is knocked out of Steve’s chest.

He knows those eyes.

“Bucky?”

He can’t believe it. It can’t be Bucky, can it? He saw him die, let him die, practically a century ago.

The assassin stares Steve down, looking at him coldly. 

“Who the hell is Bucky?”

He’s gone so fast Steve can barely process what just happened. 

2016 

It has been two years since Bucky resurfaced in Steve’s life, and he is determined to find him.

He knew Bucky remembered him. Why else would he pull him from the river, effectively saving his life?

He just needed to find him. Help him recover. Remind him of who he was, of who they were.

After years of aimlessly searching, Steve finds Bucky in a run-down place in Bucharest. Examining the room, he finds a journal, full of scribbled notes and photographs. Photographs of _Steve_. Bucky is clearly trying to remember what happened to him, who he was, who he _is_.

Steve hears footsteps creep up behind him and he quickly puts the book down, turning around to face his long-lost best friend. 

“Bucky…”

“What are you doing here?”

Bucky looks exhausted, eyes sunken in and hair a mess. He clearly hasn’t slept for days, and Steve feels exhausted just looking at him.

“I know you remember me. I knew you remembered me after you pulled my body from the river. Please, Bucky, come back with me.” Steve pleads.

Bucky scoffs, looking down at the floor. He looks so different, long hair instead of his well-kept 1940s cut, broader than before, and with a metal arm. But Steve still sees his Bucky, his best friend, in his eyes. He knows he can get him back.

“I’m not the same person I used to be.”

“Neither am I!” Steve replies. “You think I haven’t changed? I woke up in a whole new world and had to face the consequences of my actions. Make a new life in a world I didn’t understand. I’m not the same, neither are you, and I don’t care. That doesn’t matter to me.”

Bucky, overwhelmed with emotion, finally makes eye contact with Steve. He starts to break down, and Steve rushes by his side, wrapping him in a hug like they used to do.

“I’m sorry, Steve, I’m so sorry,” Bucky cries, holding onto his best friend tightly.

“It’s okay, Buck, I got you. I found you, right? That’s all that matters. You got me now.”

Bucky finally relaxes in his arms, taking deep breath after breath. 

They aren’t who they used to be. They both have decades of trauma to work through and a new world to discover.

But, they’ll do it together.

After half a century apart, years of searching, they found each other again.

‘Til the end of the line. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!! <33


End file.
